The Hobby Graveyard: Navigating the Loss of an ADHD Hyperfixation

For many people with ADHD, hobbies aren’t just casual.  They are lifelines to creative expression, self-regulation, and identity. They become a hyperfixation.  But what happens when that spark suddenly vanishes? When the thing that once consumed every free moment now gathers dust in a corner of your brain, and your closet?

If you know, you know.

Hyperfixcation & Hyperfocus Defined

Before diving further, it’s helpful to define a couple of terms. I define hyperfixation as a strong interest in a topic or activity that becomes a primary focus of your thoughts or free time. While many use the term interchangeably with hyperfocus, I distinguish them this way:

• Hyperfocus is a state of being - when you're intensely engaged in one activity, often to the point of losing track of time, bodily needs, or other responsibilities. It usually lasts minutes to hours.

• Hyperfixation is an intense interest - it can be learning about a topic or an activity you engage in. It can last minutes to years but can operate in the background of your mind. While a hyperfixation could take over while you are at work, I like to think about it as what you spend your free time thinking and doing.

So, you could be in a hyperfocus state while engaging in a hyperfixation.  But it’s possible to  be engaging in a hyperfixation activity without being in a full hyperfocus state.  

The Hobby Graveyard

Starting a new hobby with ADHD can feel incredibly fulfilling. A video or random idea sends you down a rabbit hole of YouTube tutorials, niche forums, shopping carts full of supplies, and ambitious plans. You spend all your free time outside of work or adulting responsibilities immersed in this new interest. It feels invigorating and regulating, until it doesn’t.

For many of us, when a hyperfixation dies, it’s not “maybe later.” It’s a hard stop. The spark is gone, along with any desire to keep going. The tools, supplies, and unfinished projects now feel like demands. Sometimes, we can’t even force ourselves to revisit them. And so, they go to rest in the eternal hobby graveyard.

The Emotional Weight of Abandoned Interests

There’s often an emotional ache when a hyperfixation dies. It may bring up guilt:

• “Look at all the things I didn’t finish.”

• “Look how much money I wasted on stuff I’ll never use.”

Or sadness:

• “I used to love this—why can’t I love it anymore?”

Or self-doubt and criticism:

• “Why can’t I stick with anything?”

• “I always quit everything.”

• “What’s wrong with me that I can’t keep this going?”
  

It’s a form of grief. And though we don’t usually talk about it that way, it mirrors the emotional process of losing someone. When something that brought structure, excitement, or regulation disappears, your nervous system registers it as a loss. Since ADHD brains crave stimulation and novelty, it’s normal for these shifts to happen, but that doesn’t make them easy.

A couple tips that have helped me reduce the guilt I feel about shifting hobbies:

• Setting a monthly budget of how much I can afford to spend on hobbies each month (it doesn’t matter whether I use the supplies or not since I haven’t spent more than I can afford to)

• Reframe that my hobby is “making things” rather than whatever specific type of crafting I’m in at the time (because doing something new and having a made thing in the end are what I enjoy most)

The In-Between Space: When You’re Between Fixations

Sometimes, a hyperfixation dies because a new, shiny hobby has caught your attention. In those cases, the mourning period may be shorter or may not occur because your brain has something else to latch onto. But when a hyperfixation fades and nothing new has replaced it yet, the in-between can feel especially uncomfortable. Restlessness, confusion, and under-stimulation are common. You may wonder: is this just a lull, or is it gone for good?

To help clarify:

• Re-engage with the hobby: organize your supplies, watch videos, look at photos of past projects.

• If it’s just a lull, this will usually spark interest again.

• If nothing returns, try again over the next few weeks or months. If it’s still flat, the hyperfixation has likely passed.

  • If you confirm that it's over and nothing new has emerged, try exploring:

    • Is there anything I’ve been curious about but never pursued?

    • What other hobbies have people with similar interests enjoyed?

    • Search online or explore stores with hobby supplies (crafts, sports, music, hardware, etc.).

    • Ask yourself: “Is there anything I’d like to learn more about or try?”
      

This in-between time can feel especially draining, since you've lost a reliable self-regulation tool. Even once a new interest sparks, the transition into it can be a challenge. Starting something new sounds exciting, but it comes with a learning curve. You have to:

• Research techniques and tools

• Learn the steps and build skills

• Get through the early, less-rewarding phases before it feels fun and engaging
  

All of that takes executive functioning and mental energy, often the very things in short supply. We rely on these hobbies to regulate and recharge, so needing energy in order to access regulation becomes a frustrating paradox. That’s when grief becomes most noticeable, when you’re stuck between the loss of one thing and not yet able to start the next.

A Personal Example

I’m personally in this place right now. My sewing hyperfixation, which lasted nearly a decade thanks to the novelty of new patterns, fabrics, and projects, seems to have died. I’ve found a new interest in polymer clay earrings. I love watching videos and saving inspiration, but I’m struggling to start.

I’ve bought some supplies, but now I need to make sure I have everything I need to create, bake, and finish designs. I need to understand how to store and bake the clay properly. I’ll need to do test runs to figure out how my oven works with each type of clay. There are so many little decisions…what surface to bake on, whether to cover them, etc., that my brain gets stuck trying to prioritize where to begin.

I want to create. But first, I have to make it through steps that require energy and executive functioning skills, so I’m waiting to have the capacity to get through those steps before I can get to the fun part.

Acknowledging the Grief

The loss of a hyperfixation is an unacknowledged grief process. It’s subtle but real. And because it’s not talked about, it can feel disorienting. I can’t say whether all ADHDers relate, but I’ve spoken to few people who validated my experience, and I wanted to put words to it.

If your hyperfixation dies and you feel a sense of loss, that’s valid and I get it.

I want to give a shoutout to 2 of my fellow neurodivergent, therapist friends, Nerissa & Jamie. I was able to verbally process my thoughts and experiences with them around this topic which helped me to be able to actually write this blog that had been in the back of my mind for some time. Check out their work: Nerissa Whitlock of Neurokind Wellness and Jamie Roberts of Neuropebble and Equilibrium Counseling Services. ❤️

Bobbi-Jo Molokken

ADHD Coach & Educator

*If you are navigating novelty0seeking post hobby, you might like also reading Intentionally Meeting the Need for Novelty with ADHD